Dear friends,   

We are in the middle of winter here in DC. There are more birds in the lake near my house. On particularly cold mornings even with layers of clothes, hat and glove for protection the face and fingers freeze. But as I walk along the lake to my office I see the geese and the gulls lollygagging about, as if it were the middle of summer. Obviously their natural covering works much better than my dress. It might also be that the weather here is much warmer than the one they left behind in the fall.

On such cold days I miss the warm weather of India and Hawai’i where I spent my sabbatical last year. The past several months in DC since returning from Hawaii have been stressful, much of it of my own making. Spent couple of days in Harper’s ferry, WV and the body feels rejuvenated and the thinking is clear. I feel hopefully optimistic for the next year. I am optimistic that the world will turn around from the brink of financial and military Armageddon. As for myself I feel optimistic that I will be able to complete my research project and also find a life partner. 

Here is wishing you all the very best from the bottom of my heart for the coming year.
Yours,
Sankar

P.P.S: Harper’s ferry trip pictorial journal ( plog?) at

Random thoughts (70)
1/4/2009

0. Thanks so much for your comments and corrections for rt69. Cara wrote “Don't be so hard on yourself about feeling lethargic and low.  The end of the semester is always a trying time for anyone.” Thanks Cara! You are probably right. Especially now that I have taken some time for rest and relaxation. Manoj wrote “Yes brooding on the past (which i often do) is one of the most wasteful things. I saw a buddhist poster which ask the reader to vow to only dwell on the present. (regarding demons and enlightenment) the key point is that these demons gained discriminatory knowledge and siddhis or supernatural skills not enlightenment or oneness with brahman. The buddha always dismissed these things as yeah they are cool but eventually useless (like doing miracles etc). I do not know of a single myth where a demon gets realization. Its always I want to be the emperor of the 3 worlds or I want to be immortal or I want this material thing or other. Vibishana is the only demon I know who sort of made it. But of course demons and gods also are archetypes- different personalities of the mind. In fact buddhist psychology has 6 realms- animal, demon, god, human, hungry ghost and one more.” Thanks Manoj! As mentioned above, perhaps it was the end of the semester fatigue that caused me to feel low.
1. I have been resisting purchase of cell-phone, ipod, and flat screen television. Ipod I don’t see the need for it right now. Cell-phone has definite advantages but also things that I don’t like about it. Flat screen TV I haven’t bought because the old TV I have works fine. But now there is something new coming out called organic LED TV that gives better picture, uses organic material, takes up less space, and uses a lot less electricity. It is almost tempting. Which is more environmentally friendly – keeping the old fridge, stove and TV that I have and work okay but are not energy-efficient or replacing them by more energy efficient devices? I don’t like throwing away anything because that seems like a waste of resources.

2. (Friday, 11/28)  This morning a dozen of us from nature lovers’ meetup went on a hike in Rock Creek Park. The great thing about going on group hikes is that you get to meet really wonderful people. There was one guy who knows a lot about plants and animals. He showed us the crane-fly orchid, witch hazel and clubmoss all of which sprout and grow during winter when there is less competition. You can see the pictures at http://hiking.meetup.com/nature-lovers  There was also a guy from Georgia, a retired fireman, ex-marine and pacifist Vietnam vet who was as friendly and salt of the earth American as they come and regaled us with stories from his rich life in his southern twang.

In the evening I took my parents to the Siva-Vishnu temple in Greenbelt. After worship we were in the cafeteria when some guys in suits came by and dragged us into the auditorium. Guess they were having a press junket in connection with the Mumbai massacre and needed an audience. Around 7.30 they started the program and the organizer started speechifying about India’s longtime troubles with Islamic invaders and terrorists. After him some local (PG county and MD) bigwigs including county executive Jack Johnson spoke. The speeches were mostly about the need for peace and Hindu-Muslim unity with only a slight hint of pride in Hindu virtue, nevertheless the slightest tinge of politics was irritating. I had to force myself to think of the people who had died or lost loved ones. (Luckily all our relatives are safe. A friend of a relative who had just been promoted and moved to Mumbai from Coimbatore died in the Taj hotel where he was meeting with some foreign clients). 

 I was particularly saddened by the death of the father-daughter couple from the meditation group. It must be extremely difficult for the mother who was left behind. I am also saddened by the unnecessary death of the anti-terrorism squad chief. It seems to me he didn’t need to go up front that too without a bulletproof vest. I don’t know if it was an eagerness on his part to be on the front line or not being aware of the magnitude of the threat. Nevertheless I am envious of all the police and military personnel who had the opportunity to go in and fight to protect and rescue the hostages. It is nice to fantasize about a James Bond or a John McClane going in and rescuing the hostages single-handedly. But I guess reality is not so simple. Actually this was all so unreal – even Bollywood is going to have a hard time fictionalizing the drama that came to its doorstep. After the triumph of Obama now comes the tragedy of terrorism – I still wonder if I am awake and this is all actually happening.

 After returning from the temple I biked to Dupont circle. It was 9pm and temperatures were in the low forties but I couldn’t bear to stay in the house. As I entered the Starbucks I told myself that this Starbucks ought to be a DC landmark, kind of like Boston has its Cheers. Just a feeling – maybe I am being narcissistic, having become a regular here. As usual I got a skim milk steamer (I have enough trouble sleeping as it is – drinking coffee makes it impossible to sleep) and settled down on one of the chairs facing Connecticut ave. There were a surprisingly large number of people out. I thought it would only be couples and families out on a night like this. This being Dupont circle many of the couples were gay. But there were also quite a few apparently single people walking around. There were many groups of highly attractive women, probably on a girls’ night out. 

Three of them took up positions nearby. All I could manage was empty smiles while trying to write journal, grade papers, etc., But soon a young smooth-operator type stopped by the girls and started a casual conversation with them, deftly engaging them with an opportunistic innocent question. Pretty soon they were discussing their entire life. I was impressed by his effortless virtuosity in achieving what I consider impossible. You learn something new everyday, I guess. I had half a thought to jump into their conversation but realized I was just being jealous. Soon some other friends arrived and two of the girls immediately ditched their newfound friends and started talking to the other guys. But the pesky bugger 
wouldn’t give up and continued talking to the one girl who was left alone, eventually giving her his phone number. 

3. Like the financial crisis, terrorism is a big dark cloud whose meaning and causes are not all black and white. I don’t know if anyone has a clue as to why it is that some people take up terrorism. The authorities are blaming the attack on Islamic radicals and it looks like they have some evidence. Certainly Muslims don’t have a monopoly on terrorism, but it seems to be a bigger problem among Muslims. I know a lot of Muslims and they are among the best people I have ever met, so it is a big mystery to me as to why terrorism has taken hold in the Muslim world. I am not quite satisfied with the poverty/injustice/western-imperialism-materialism argument. I am hopeful that Obama will have a better understanding of the problem as well as a more effective approach to dealing with it. 

4. Some people are already complaining that Obama is being covered too much, that now the press is obsessing over even minor details. This is nonsense though. After all, the American media spends acres of coverage on Britney Spears’ haircut.

5. These days when I see someone who is suffering or looks sad or lonely or otherwise evokes sympathy I feel like hugging them and putting a hand on their shoulder and telling them everything is going to be alright. Even if they are totally random strangers. Of course you cannot always do that so you just smile at them and ask how they are doing. Must be something to do with my hormones because there are also times when I feel like punching somebody in the face if they are annoying.

6. (Sunday, 11/30) Returning to the topic of terrorism, there is no doubt that there is much oppression and exploitation in the world. Especially in India, minorities and the poor suffer injustice of all forms every day. But to go around blowing up a whole bunch of people doesn’t make sense to me. That seems to indicate a pathology of some kind. Whether it is done by Tamils in Sri Lanka or the Irish in England or Islamic radicals elsewhere, terrorism seems to me is more about power and sadism. Or else how could someone watch a mother cry over her child’s dead body or a friend or lover grieve and not be moved? However right you may think your cause is, however much you might hate someone, to kill innocent people in a cruel way takes a certain amount of perverted thinking. I don’t understand what drives these people to commit such acts. I understand that a man who is driven to the depths of suffering could do desperate and horrendous things, but I am not sure all the men who are terrorists are in desperate straits.

7. Speaking of power, I saw a nice quote from Jimi Hendrix at the Emergence community action center on Euclid st: “When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.” I am optimistic that it will happen, though cynics would say that man is essentially an animal and there will be war and injustice until the end. I consider the yearning for peace, love and harmony as the natural conclusion of human evolution. We all go through much conflict before we reach that place. There is darkness in each of us, and every one of us fights a Mahabharata, a war of good versus  evil, an internal jihad to overcome our negative seeds and nourish the positive ones. Every nation, every society goes through an internal struggle during its development. People made fun of Condoleezza Rice when she said that the Middle East is just going through birth pangs. But I think there is some truth to what she said. Perhaps it may take longer, but I think eventually there will be democracy and peace in the Middle East as well. Even the terrorists will one day learn that there is more power in love than in creating fear and destruction. (Added, 12/21/08) In fact I just read somewhere that a survey of Islamic countries revealed that a big majority admire American style democracy.

8. (Friday, 12/5) I like how Obama keeps saying we are all in this together. I think that is the most important thing to remember during these tough times. The economic hard times is affecting everyone. As long as we stick together and work together to overcome the problems we will be okay. 

9. (Sunday, 12/7) I was watching C-Span Friday night, just before going to sleep. They were showing some lectures on the economic situation, taped at the Federal Reserve. These lectures have been informative, at least insofar as to throw light on what the whiz kids were thinking when they built up that inverted pyramid scheme on top of the mortgage market. This guy showed statistics and research (a lot of it quite technical!) conducted during the past several years indicating that people had indeed thought about what they were doing, that they were calculating their risks while building up those credit default swaps and other stuff. Apparently according to their statistics they thought (several years ago) that the probability of home values going down in the past few years would be only 5%. The likelihood was far higher that the values will keep going up, because that is what they had been doing in the previous 10 or 15 years. So obviously they were banking on those mortgage backed securities realizing their full value. Sounded reasonable enough. But when I thought about it later, it occurred to me that perhaps what was wrong was not the statistics or the projections or even the theory, but the general thought process itself. In other words, people were certainly thinking about it, but their thought process was not complete, maybe? Is it possible they were only looking at one side of the picture? How else could they miss the truth—that a grand financial edifice was being built on sand? Perhaps what needs to be done, along with new regulations and more prudent fiscal policies, is to modify the thinking and researching process to make sure that the big picture is not lost in the details. Certainly the danger of missing the big picture exists when one relies solely on theoretical constructs based on logic and conceptualization. Such an approach is necessary when dealing with complex problems, for sure, but I think it should be accompanied by an ability to look at the big picture, beyond the numbers and the formulae. Now I am being a little vague here, of course. What does it mean to say looking at the big picture? How does one achieve that? While it can be articulated much better, it is something to be understood through personal experience rather than intellectual explanations.

10. More on organic farming (thanks to colleague David Schwartzmann): This scientific article (attached) by faculty from University of Michigan shows how organic farming can produce enough food to support the entire global population.

11. (Thursday, 12/18) A few years ago I decided that I am basically a creative type of guy and that it is best to eschew a rigid and disciplined approach to life. Around this time I was also feeling more and more confident about myself enough to not depend on a fixed routine or regular exercise or meditation to keep me in balance. But lately I have been getting my hands into too many things and it is becoming difficult to keep track of things and stay focused. Today I was reading Time’s interview with Obama for its person of the year issue. I was struck by what he said about discipline. Apparently he sticks to an hour long workout routine at the gym every morning. That is how he is able to keep himself in balance. So I decided that if I am going to get anything done in my life I will have to return to a more disciplined existence. My new year’s resolution is to get up every day at a reasonably early hour and do a mile walk around the Lake first thing in the morning. Accordingly I set my alarm to 7 am and went on that walk this morning. I was a bit woozy because I have been getting up later and later this past semester (classes were in afternoon) and it felt a bit unnatural. Nevertheless I am happy I did it and feel much better. Let us see how long it lasts.

12. In the incoming administration there is no doubt that Obama, Pelosi and Hillary will be the three most important, influential and powerful people. This is new because none of them are white males. On the other hand I also realize that Obama was more or less raised as a white male, in the sense that he was raised by his white mother and grandparents for the most part and went to universities where the population was predominantly white. Of course, the most important job in the world during the next four, possibly eight years will be held by those secret service agents who are in charge of keeping him safe. 

13. (12/20/08) Tonight I was at Kramerbooks and happened upon Jhumpa Lahiri's "Unaccustomed Earth." She starts the book with a great quote from Nathaniel Hawthorne. It is about how human beings, just like a plant, need to strike root in fresh soil from time to time. It kind of makes me feel good about my own decision to settle here in the US. I think India has benefited enormously from all those who have left its shores and struck root elsewhere, and changed not only the places where they settled but also, eventually, India itself. I have great respect for those who have decided to stay in India and make it better but for people to say that those who emigrated had no role in India's development (whatever that term may mean) is not fair. One reason that countries like India and China have gone through long periods of stagnation and outright decay is that people decided that they didn't need to travel and explore new worlds. They felt that as a society they had achieved perfection. The only people that left, it seems to me, were the poor and destitute who moved to find better opportunities. This resulted in a population that was conformist, risk-averse and incapable of evolution and expansion.

14. After wasting a significant portion of my adult life watching television I finally have come to the realization that watching TV in order to get rest is like drinking coffee to relax. Like coffee it is only good when taken in very small doses during times when you are really low in energy or spirits and need a little diversion. Silence or a good nap are the best ways to relax, in my opinion. Or just going for a walk.

15. (Wednesday, 12/24) Today I was sitting in a UMCP library, near a window. The clouds kept passing the sun, sometimes letting it shine. I was struck by the sheer magnitude of the forces shaping our existence – here we are, nothing but pieces of dust thrown off that giant ball of fire that somehow coalesced to become self-aware beings. And there in the sky, millions of miles away, is a remainder of that giant ball of fire that is yet to cool down, while we go around it in another giant rocky sphere formed out of the cooling clouds of dust.

16. The older you get, the more fragile your ego becomes. You build up layer after layer of identities – I am a man…I am a father…I am a husband…I am prosperous…I am knowledgeable…I am capable…I am a leader….and so on and on depending on the things you have done in your life. Then every interaction that takes place collides with these identities. If the collision is acceptable, you feel good. If not, you get angry or jealous or sad or defensive and so on. 

17. I was curious about how incomes are distributed around the world. I was astounded to learn that, according to world bank statistics, about 90% of the world’s population makes less than $12000 per year (adjusted to purchasing power parity). These figures are latest, I believe. Fully 20% lives on less than a dollar a day. The often quoted figure is that the richest 1% of adults alone owned 40% of global assets in the year 2000, and that the richest 10% of adults accounted for 85% of the world total. The bottom half of the world adult population owned barely 1% of global wealth. So I feel filthy rich right now, even ashamed of my wealth, though it is very little compared to a lot of my fellow Americans. I better live as simply as possible and give away as much as I could.

18. I have some bad news, folks. Sorry to break it to you, but America’s funniest comedian is not that funny anymore. Yes, I am talking about Seinfeld. It is sad but true. First his commercials with Bill Gates bomb. Now I find that even his stand up jokes aren’t that funny. He was on Letterman’s show and it was painful to watch him sweat through his jokes all of which seemed to be falling flat on the audience. He has lost much of his edge. I am glad he got married and had children, but for the sake of all humanity I hope he is able to shake off the rust and bring back the funny Seinfeld of yore.

19. Here is an article about a “passive” house in Germany – a house that does not need extra heating and cooling, using only as much energy as a hair dryer, because of the way it has been built:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/27/world/europe/27house.html?em  The amazing thing about this house is that you don’t need to wear sweaters, it costs at the most 7% more to build compared to conventional homes, and it has a good ventilation system as well!

20. (New year’s day, Thursday 1/1) Over the past week I have learned the benefits of resting, albeit the hard way. I mean, scary hard way. Last thursday night all of a sudden it felt like I was going to black out any moment. At first I thought there was something wrong with my breathing or my brain. It took me a few days to realize that the brain was simply trying to switch off due to lack of  sleep, food, rest or warmth or a combination of all of those. I found that it is possible even when the brain is fading out to exert the will to stay calm and alert, though it was much better to just lie down and fall asleep instantly. This morning I went on a 10 mile hike on the towpath after only six hours’ sleep and not much food. Towards the end the brain started fading out but I managed to finish the hike. It felt good to get inside the warmth and comfort of Georgetown Barnes & Noble. A hot chocolate and potato chips revived me. By a coincidence I saw that the Outside magazine had a special article about the benefits of rest. It gave me some important information about how exercise without proper rest and warming up is injurious to the body. Indeed, resting the body is essential if one were to benefit from exercise, at all! I suppose the same thing is true for the brain. 

21.  We all know that climate change is going to have the most adverse consequences for poor people in places like India, Bangladesh and sub-Saharan Africa. A matter of particular concern to Hindus, especially, is that if things go as people fear they might, the Ganges will stop being a perennial river within the next century. I hope this at least will stir the Indian government to act with urgency, because the Ganges is one of the holiest things for Hindus. But considering how polluted the Ganges is today, I wonder if that is a reasonable expectation. Imagine having to tell the average person, “If you drive more or build more coal fired plants the Ganges will stop running in the dry season.” That is a problem with fighting climate change – the causes seem so far removed from the effects.

22. Connecting with nature is really about connecting with ourselves. The more we move away from it, the farther we get away from our soul and our organic, biological nature. Some say, everything is part of nature. Some find the concept of soul and spirituality to be vague and undefined. But unfortunately these things cannot be understood with logical explanations. As Alan Watts says in “The Way of Zen” there are things that cannot be understood using conventional knowledge, the knowledge based on the contents of our surface consciousness alone, which includes the thinking mind. We “know” how to move our hands, how to breathe, how to make decisions, but it is hard to explain them in words. Perhaps one day science will find a way to express the inexpressible. But the more we depend on our thinking mind and ignore our connections to wild nature the more robotic we become, people trying to project their ideas of what a well-rounded man or woman should be, based on their knowledge and experience rather than bringing it straight from their hearts. It is painful to watch people do it, becoming cardboard cutout caricatures in the process.

23. (12/31/08, Harper’s ferry) Being here one feels a world away from the hustle of DC. The pace is slower, people more mellow and friendly. Suddenly life itself feels completely different. Upon arriving here last night I was quite tired and worn out. I got into my room at the bed and breakfast and just plopped down on the chair. It was only around 6 pm but it was dark already, and the town was deathly quiet. Except for the occasional rumble and horn of a train there was absolute silence. It was comforting and disorienting at the same time to be away from phone, email and TV. For a few moments I sat there wondering what to do. It took me about half an hour to figure out that the problem was with the question itself – I was used to constantly doing something while in DC. So I just sat there for a little while, doing nothing, not even asking myself  “what to do?” I just enjoyed sitting there, listening to the various little sounds of the building. I went to bed at 8pm, which is a historically early time for me. As I lay on the bed I even made peace with my restlessness, because without it I probably wouldn’t get anything done. Also, worrying about being restless is itself part of the restlessness. Over the next 40 hours or so I slowly started to feel healed and refreshed. I realized that by nature I am a country person in the body of a city person. If I allowed myself to live too much in the moment, to not worry about anything, then I would probably become too lazy. That is perhaps why I still live in DC, though there is a constant longing to be in a more mellow, rural environment. DC keeps me restless, on the edge, always challenging me physically and mentally.